SATIRE

Conquering the everyday obstacles school has to offer, students have suffered endlessly. From elementary school when children would sneeze and cough and get bodily fluids all over their friends- therefore spreading diseases like wildfire, to the middle school awkward talks in health class and having almost a million classes instead of one, and high school where students are expected to suffer not only at school, but also their jobs, driving, homework, tutoring, clubs, and extracurricular activities such as sports and time with friends and family-students have waited their entire life for graduation day. This year however, the school district and Tropicana Field evilly discussed in a secret meeting what time graduation should be. In an effort to make students more miserable as much as possible before they are free from the prison, it was decided to have graduation in the middle of the day. It has been noted that so far 235 parents have been fired or have gotten in trouble for missing work on their child’s big day. Susanne Maddock, parent of senior twins, stated “I work at a hospital, my job is very important and I was not able to miss a day. Sadly, I missed my children’s graduation day which is a day I won’t be able to relive”. In addition to parents missing graduation, an email was sent to all teachers and school staff stating that they must stay at school for the remaining students who are not graduating. It was stated in the email “Any teachers who miss school as a result of graduation will be risking their jobs”. Knowing the email was sent, almost 145 teachers were not at school on graduation day. Chaos ran throughout the school because not enough subs were available. Kids were running around like wild animals, throwing trash, vandalizing school property, playing games and having cell phones out playing their music on full blast. One kid was even seen with his pet bird as it was perched on his shoulders and seen flying throughout the school. Sophomore Brett Trasher stated “If I can’t go to see my brother graduate when I’m already at 4 absences for the semester, then I’m going to give the school what it deserves”. Not only were students involved in the mess, but teachers contributed as well. Most teachers were on their phones, watching movies, and completely ignoring the class. In addition to the school day being a complete disaster, the graduation ceremony wasn’t living up to its full potential either. The majority of the seats in the stadium were empty and there was chaos among those who attended. A few rebellious students terrorized the stadium by throwing trash on to the field in response to their teachers, parents, and siblings not being able to attend the day they have waited for their entire life. At least 40 seniors were arrested and did not graduate due to vandalizing property. Senior Tommy McMad stated, “I let my anger get the best of me, I just wanted my mom to see me graduate”. All in all, this year’s graduation was a horrific scene and hopefully next year the school district and Tropicana Field will be more generous.