SATIRE

“Yeah, I didn’t realize what was going down until I remembered I was in George Lucas’ personal art museum,” recalls Henry Gary, a local art critic. “All of his Star Wars exhibits started coming to life, man. I mean, like, they were moving around and stuff, man. Like, what gives?”

          According to officials on the scene, George Lucas’ LA personal art collection museum has begun to wreak havoc on the city.

          “Yes. Exhibits such as an oil on canvas painting of Jar Jar Binks fell to the floor and then the images within stepped out. We have audio of each of these occurrences,” reports Officer Dwindle, an LA Police Captain. 

          Some of the recordings of these events were sent to our news team and have been written down below:

Han Solo Painting – “But I did shoot first, you guys!”

          Jar Jar Binks Painting – “I really don’t know what Georgie-Boy was thinking when he decided to put me in the movies.”

          Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader Painting – Luke: “Hey, Dad!”

          Darth: “What, kid.”

          Luke: “Which program do Jedi use to open PDF files?”

          Darth: “Lord, Luke, what…”

          Luke: “Adobe Wan Kenobi!!”

          Princess Leia Painting – “I think you’re all idiots.”

          Jabba the Hut Painting – “O grandio lust Jabba du Hutt amu intoe tah parena.” (Translation: “His honor, our glorious host, Jabba the Hutt, has entered the arena.”)

          Child Anakin Skywalker Painting – “Go away, Jabba, nobody likes you.”

          Shmi Skywalker – “Ani, nooooooooo!”

          Darth Vader Painting – “Shut up, mom.”

          “Mr. Lucas has no comment at this time,” says George Lucas’ chief of staff at the museum.

This is a satire based on the following article: http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/11/entertainment/george-lucas-museum/index.html