SATIRE

As the semester ends, the easiest/hardest week of the semester begins: Exam Week. While it is commonplace to study before a large test, research shows that the students with the best test results actually do a number of surprising studying methods.

Step 1- burn the notes. Notes aren’t really that important, and who actually reads them. “I never read over my notes,” said Sally Neverstudysmith, 12^th grade, who says she has actually gotten in fist fights with others on whether to read notes or not. Once again, notes never help, so burn them, throw them away, or sell them to someone who thinks that they will be useful.

Step 2- don’t get any sleep. Sleep has been shown to distract students from doing well on exams. Since this is the case, simply don’t sleep at all before the test. You will have time to sleep once you’re old. Freddy Failsalot , 10^th grade, said “last year I actually got some sleep before exams, and I failed every single exam.” So the nights before exams, watch movies, hang out with friends, or play videogames all night, and walk into class prepared with no sleep.